Life, it knocks you down.

I started this blog saying that I was going to choose Joy everyday. It is harder then you think. Around me I feel as if my world is crashing down. Imagine swimming in the ocean and the waves keep pushing you back, taking you under and your never really getting anywhere. That is how I feel. I have allowed this to affect my Joy.

Whether its family going through hard times, or friends suffering in pain. There are so many things I can not change. The things I can change I push to the side, I ignore. The things that could possibly give me Joy in the darkness.

Juggling... I have never been good at it. Literally with 3 balls or in the since of school and work and life, and so on. To heal my breaking heart, to take back some of my Joy that is slowly fading away, to push away the darkness that tries to consume my life, I am going to make 3 daily commitments for me, to bring Joy to me, and to build me up, so even when the waves come crashing down, or the tide is just to strong I will be strong enough to keep pushing forward.

1. Quiet time with God- I will devote time to read my bible, sing worship songs to my Father, and to be still and listen to Him.

2. I will eat healthy- I will not allow the stress of my everyday life to consume me into eating unhealthy to dull the pain and anxiety. I will give my body the nutrition it deserves.

3. I will spend 30 minutes exercising everyday. To blow off frustration to take my mind of things, to feel physically strong as well as mentally.

These are 3 things that I will do to bring Joy back into my life. What 3 things will you commit to doing to bring you out of the darkness?

Science is Confidence

This past weekend I had the honor to attend the first annual Tinker Fest in Little Rock, AR. To be able to witness the children excited to learn and grow was amazing.


The moment that stuck out the most to me at this amazing fest, was the lock picking station. I sat down at the end of the day and they started showing me what I was suppose to do. After three or four tries, I gave up, I said "Well I guess David will just have to be the lock picker in our house" Then the lock picker teacher said "keep trying you can do it", so I tried again, and again and I finally opened. Those few encouraging words, motivated me to solve my problem, to keep going, and I was so proud of myself for my accomplishment. 


He then explained that it was not about picking locks it was about problem solving, and the way we go about solving a problem. I learned that with patients, curiosity, and time I can do anything. The confidence I felt after that was amazing. Then the thought occurred to me that this man had been working with over 1500 guest that day, and that 1500 people also were encouraged. What a Joy to know that before school starts that the children were taught to not give up to keep trying, to think of different approaches to the situation, to ask question, and to celebrate when they finally achieve their goal. Thinking of the confidence it gives them for that one child to say "No mom I got this" and to continue trying until he/she gets it. This was the most JOYFUL experience of my weekend. 









It was not just for kids though, I think even adults can become complacent and give up to easily on life, to say oh forget it, it is to hard, or its not worth it, meaning that they aren't willing to put in the time and effort, or if they are like me are just afraid of failing. This tinker fest, taught me that it is okay to ask questions, to mess up, to learn from your failure. This weekend I learned that failing is a blessing it taught me a whole knew way to look at life. I hope that I will be able to influence the kids I work with and teach them to be curious and confident problem solvers, critical thinkers, and most of all the JOY of tinkering. 

Pictures are by Becca Bornstein and Sherry Marshall

When the fish don't bite

We all have those friends in life that no matter how long you have gone without seeing each other, or how much life has happened, you are still the best of friends. To me those friends are many. This past weekend was my birthday, and as I set at the dinner table full of people I couldn't help but think of all the things each of them have been through and yet here we all set with a smile on our faces and ready for a night of dancing, they chose joy. As the night progressed we went dancing and laughed and sweated and had an absolute blast some of my friends I hadn't scene in years and others just a few months but still the love that was their between us, we chose joy.


On Saturday I went fishing with two of my best guy friends and my husband. The two guys I have known since middle school, and even though time has past its still as if it was yesterday. As we were fishing at the pond and they were catching fish I couldn't help but think of the one who just got back from Afghanistan, all the things he has scene, hurt he has been through, and all the days of worrying whether he was gonna make it home or not ended with him being right there with me fishing just like we were kids again. Then my other friend who recently went through a bad divorce, still putting a smile on his face and catching bass, and then my husband and all the stress that life has thrown at him, and me with my history.... We all have a story to tell , and when things dont work out right, or the fish don't bite. You make the best out of what you have. You might get a little dirty, you might get stuck or fall a few times.

 But you can always count on your friends to be there to help you out, to get you out of that rut. I can say as I look around at the people in my life, I am so happy to see them choosing Joy, because I know their heartache, but it is the trials that have made them into the people they are today.You can always count on your friends to hose ya off, clean ya up and show you the JOY in life :)

You cant take my JOY!

This morning I received a phone call from a friend at work, sadly she had to inform me that my temp job was not up for renewal and my hours for the year are almost up. Some state freeze had been put on hiring the misc. temp jobs that I had. I tried to remain positive and up lifting, I was in shock. I have NEVER lost my job. I have always had a plan, it has always been my choice. After hanging up the phone with her, I text-ed my mom, my mother in law, and my husband. After carefully explaining it to my mom and mother in law I was fine and collective. However the second I had to explain to my husband that by the end of the week I would be jobless I broke. I started balling trying to get it all out, all my worries and fears and hearing his words of reassurance  I was still in shock. 


                                                                              A year ago I started back at school, I had felt God leading me to become a counselor and I am positive that is the direction he wants me to go with my life. Once I graduated Rose and was accepted into UCO I was confident that I was on the right path, God had also provided me with a wonderful job from home, sadly this morning I lost that, and for a second, I let it steal my JOY, my confidence in my Father, and His plan for my life. 


I do not know what is going to become of the following months all I know is that God has made the path of my life known to me and has filled me with Joy being in his presence. As long as I am on the path He has planned for my life, I have nothing to fear. God will provide for me and continue to guide me and fill me with his endless love and mountains of JOY!


“Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest in hope, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, you will not let your holy one see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.” – Acts 2:26-28




This post makes me think of a song a man at my old church sang


"You can't take my JOY, no You cant take my JOY, You didn't give it NO so YOU CANT TAKE IT AWAY"

the JOY of cheese cake

My first home made cheesecake. I got the recipe from a friend, we had to change it a bit because hers was for a cookie dough cheese cake. While making the cheese cake I ran into many complications, first my cord to my mixer got all tangled up while trying to mix the creme cheese and splenda, after getting it un-tangled and the rest of the ingredients mixed together I finally had my cheese cake assembled.  I popped it in the oven, set the timer and 45 minutes later I went to check it, my cheese cake was growing, and the middle was still sunk down. I was confused and un-sure if my cheese cake was done, so I called my mother in-law. She talked me through on how to check it, just like any cake I grabbed a butter knife stuck it in the middle and pulled it out, it was not done yet. Ten minutes later and my cheese cake was GIANT! I did not know that they puffed up that much. So I got it out of the oven and let it cool and into the fridge it went. Shrinking down to normal size again! Thank goodness. The next day me and my niece decorated it with blue berries and strawberries for the 4th of July. The butter knife had caused a huge crack in the middle of the cake so we decided to make that a star. 


Cheese cake is by far my favorite dessert, and much to my surprise mine turned out delicious. I have never received so many comments on something that I had cooked. I felt so proud. After hearing all the praises and seeing all the beautiful fireworks, and spending tons of time with my family it was time to go home. While laying in bed tired and ready for sleep my wonderful husband told me he was proud of me, that "you can be the person with a great meatloaf and its great, but when your the person with a to die for cheesecake your the life of the party" It filled me with Joy to hear these words from my husband who praises his mamma's cooking to do the same over something that I cooked.  I was one happy and joyful wife. Its one 4th of July I will never forget!

JOY

I have always had my eyes fixed on things I can do better, I could be a better wife, a better friend, a better worker. I could lose weight, eat healthier, learn to run. I could study harder, make better grades, wake up earlier. I have never been content with just being me. I saw this picture and it really spoke to me "Today I choose JOY" to me that means that today I will be happy, I will be proud of myself and the things I do. I will find joy in the people around me, and in my daily activities. My blog will be about the things that bring me joy in my life. The many blessings God gives to me, that I have been over looking. This blog is gonna be my happy place were I write down all the things that bring "JOY" to my heart. So I can look back on them and smile, and be great full.